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Brad is a short, fat, girl-hating, comic book collecting nerd.
 
David is a self-involved nobody with interests in Star Wars and Vaginal Openings.
 
John is a tubby Virgin who's anxious to become a condom-purchasing, Vadge-Porking adherent to the non-nerd society that has shunned him so.
 
Amanda is the lone Goth in her small town. She's the sole girl her age who loves Charles Manson and Archie Andrews. Unfortunately for her, these superficialities won't keep everyone at bay, and it only encourages nerds to hit on her.
 
Alex is a former Fattie who, despite his love of Sports and other non-homosexual activities, has a weakness for the nerd culture that his "Real Men" peers avoid.
 
Arnold is the rugged idealist who owns and operates The Literary Dragon, a place where The Humanities and Entertainment meet. And for all you female fat fetishists, he's single.
 
Christine is a real jerk who could find a guy if she didn't live in the middle of nowhere. But as she does live in the middle of nowhere, she'll have to fill time by pestering nerds.
 
Sally is a Religious-type who both values, and is frustrated by, her virginity. If the End Times are "coming", why can't she?
 
Dirk is 29 and lives with his mother. He doesn't shower or floss. Also, he reads nothing but comic books and porno. In other words, he doesn't live by your rules.
 
Candace is both gorgeous and cruel (with a lot of shallowness thrown in). She's perfect for nerds who want to practice hitting on a girl without taking the chance of having to go out with her.
 
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derivativecomics All White Babies Are Pigs…
Posted on 2010-05-03 at 00:00:00
What do you mean, Black people are racially inferior?!

I said they’re racistly inferior. When it comes to being racist, they suck.

I mean, what slurs do they have? Whitey? That’s not offensive…it’s a vague description. And Honkey? The fuck does that even mean?!

Cracker is pretty retarded, too.

Exactly! They should take a tip from the white man…we derive our best racist slur about them from the term “Negroid.” Well, we’re Caucasians…so why don’t they call us Caucs?

It sounds dirty. White Women would be Cauc-suckers. It’s offensive as hell. But they just don’t have the inborn, racist abilities of the proud Aryan. They’re inferior.

I am not a racist.